As church attendance nationwide has plateaued following the pandemic, some are reconsidering traditional practices. Phil Cooke, a Christian media expert and pastor’s son, reflects on his mother’s strict church rules that now seem increasingly relevant in today’s casual worship environment.
Dress up. His mom believed church was about honoring God, and appearance was part of that honor. While many churches have moved toward casual attire, Cooke notes that professionals understand how dress impacts attitude and perception. As his mom said, it shouldn’t be about pride but about honoring God. Recent studies show that dress codes remain an important consideration for many congregations seeking to maintain reverence in worship.
Pay attention. Cooke got disciplined often for not paying attention. Even as children, his mom wouldn’t allow them to lie down on church pews, color, or scribble. They had to focus — which was particularly challenging for the easily distracted Cooke. Looking back, it taught him discipline and substantial Bible knowledge.
Send the babies to the nursery. Without a “children’s church,” they only had a nursery for babies, and his mom insisted on its use. She considered crying babies during worship particularly discourteous. She knew infants weren’t benefiting from the sermon, so why not let them enjoy the nursery? Cooke reflected on this while sitting behind a young couple with a crying baby during a recent service.
If you show up late, sit in the back. His mother viewed church differently than entertainment venues. It was sacred, requiring respect. Though their family typically occupied the front row, tardiness meant sitting in the back. She would never disrupt services by walking to the front after they began.
Bring your Bible. “Buy a Bible, read it and underline it” was his mom’s motto. She couldn’t comprehend attending church without a Bible — like playing baseball without a bat. Despite trying pew Bibles and phone apps, Cooke still brings his marked-up physical Bible, honoring his mother’s wisdom.
Sunday School matters. While many modern churches have abandoned Sunday School, Cooke’s mother valued its deeper learning opportunity. She believed a weekly sermon alone wasn’t sufficient for spiritual growth, though this was before small groups became popular.
“At the time, I thought I’d been switched at birth, and my mom was an evil witch,” Cooke said, “but now, I’m starting to see she might have been pretty smart.”
–Alan Goforth