The recent news has been filled with stories about the moral failings of prominent Christian leaders, both locally and nationally. Media consultant Phil Cooke identified six types of risky behavior that can lead to crises in churches and ministries.
Abusing alcohol and/or sleeping pills. “Especially if you’re a pastor, I can give you plenty of reasons never to drink at all. Having said that, I don’t believe the Bible prohibits alcohol, but it does clearly warn against getting drunk. The problem is, with booze, you don’t have to be drunk to do risky and stupid things. Plus, I’ve known pastors (or their wives) who became alcoholics but wouldn’t dare tell anyone until it was too late. If you do drink, do it at home or do it around trusted friends. And please don’t do it alone in places like a hotel bar, which is often filled with attractive members of the opposite sex. Sleeping pills can sometimes be worse, and the biggest offender seems to be Ambien.”.
Crude or sexualized joking with staff members. “Years ago, I was consulting with a large church, and during a staff meeting the pastor started trying to guess what color underwear the female staff members were wearing. I pulled the executive pastor outside and asked him what in the world just happened. His response? `Oh, everybody knows pastor is just a joker. It’s not a big deal.’ It was a big deal. Within a few months, he was forced to step down because of an adulterous relationship with someone outside of the church.”
Spending too much time away from your spouse. “There are a lot of red flags when it comes to a deteriorating marriage, but a big one is too much time apart. One pastor preferred to enjoy a vacation home without the company of his wife. Another would go on long work trips alone without his wife. Too much time away alone usually leads to spending too much time with a woman other than your wife. And of course, one thing leads to another.”
Fascination with pornography. “In today’s digital, social media age, porn is everywhere. It’s online, incredibly easy to access and it’s impacting younger kids more than ever. Today, statistics reveal just how early kids are being exposed to the most graphic sexual content. And adult leaders can access it even more easily. I met a Navy SEAL team member who told me that whenever they captured high-level Muslim terrorists, they all had one thing in common: a huge stash of pornography. It’s almost as if being so radical in restricting women creates an unhealthy obsession with them.”
Really stupid decisions. “Who thought it was a good idea for a nationally known Christian evangelist and apologist to own a chain of massage parlors? To `be more productive,’ one pastor had his female assistant move into his and his wife’s home. Another started picking up women in his hotel bar after preaching at other churches. Really stupid decisions can happen to anyone, but they seem to happen more often when a leader has power, money, little-to-no transparency and/or lots of control.”
No one can question the boss’s decisions. “Yes, there are actual churches and ministries where the pastor or leader’s decisions are rarely, if ever, questioned. That pastor has created a culture where it’s his way or the highway, and anyone in meetings who disagrees with the man of God will need to find another job. More often, I actually see cultures where no one questions the leader out of genuine respect. Respect is good, but anytime the team feels uncomfortable questioning any leader’s decisions, something is wrong. Either way, these cultures are simply ripe for abuse, whether sexual, financial, spiritual or otherwise.”
–Alan Goforth | Metro Voice