Sweet Caroline’s Favorite Childhood Christmas Memory

Every Christmas, Caroline tells her favorite childhood Christmas memory.

To fully appreciate Caroline’s delight in sharing this Christmas divine, we need to first glimpse darker memories. Unimaginable memories of an abused little girl.

Caroline’s biological father Henry was an alcoholic. Her mother died when she was just two years old. There were six children to raise. Three boys and three girls. The girls were sexually abused by multiple abusers. Sometimes they were dropped off with strangers to endure what no child should.

Normal basic needs were neglected like shots, bathing, and warm clothing.  “We were lucky to get one good meal a day,” Caroline painfully remembered.

Caroline was mostly deaf, but no one knew it. Her father and her teachers ridiculed and punished her for not completing school assignments. To her humiliation, she went through the second grade three times. While she was just as smart as the other children, the undiscovered deafness rendered her speech almost unintelligible, making it hard to make friends or communicate with adults. Thankfully, her handicap was discovered, and she was fitted with a hearing aid. Her schoolwork improved and she learned how to speak correctly. School became her safe place where the teachers treated her with kindness.

Finally, someone got brave. Someone cared enough and they reported the abuse. The state took the six children away from Henry. They were separated and divided among family members. “I went from the frying pan into the fire,” Caroline said. The relatives were also abusers. Sweet Caroline endured their abuse for three months.

At the age of eight, Caroline got a reprieve from her living hell when her elderly grandmother took her and her siblings to live with her. She was loving and kind, but this safe haven was short-lived. Her grandmother ran out of money and could not provide for their needs. The state took Sweet Caroline and put her into a group home. She was again traumatized by being separated from her siblings. The only family she knew.

“They did their best,” Caroline said. “But there were just too many kids and not enough staff or money.” She lived in the group home for one year.

One fine day, a wonderful Christian couple, farmers Elwood and Louise, visited the home. They had always wanted a daughter but were unable to conceive. Watching Sweet Caroline play outside at the children’s home, they immediately fell in love with her. It was a divine appointment. “They said they picked me out of all the other girls because I was the best one,” Caroline said, beaming.

They took her home for a visit to their farm over Easter weekend.

I immediately felt safe with them

“I immediately felt safe with them,” Caroline fondly remembered. “They bought me the most beautiful dress I ever had for Easter, and I remember Louise ever so gently brushing my long hair.” A first for Sweet Caroline.

They attended church and then a traditional Easter family dinner at Elwood’s mother’s farm next door. Caroline’s eyes grew big when she saw the tables laden with more food than she had ever seen! Delicious homemade farm food. Sugared ham and cheesy potatoes, vegetables and real stuffing out of a turkey, hot homemade rolls and cookies, cakes, and pies of every kind! Sweet Caroline thought she was in heaven! She was surrounded by family who genuinely cherished her as one of their own. “I saw what a family was supposed to be like,” Caroline said.

Caroline went back to the group home with a full stomach, warm memories and hope.

“The day came when they surprised me,” Caroline said. “They picked me up, took me home, and became my forever parents!”

Elwood and Louise adopted Sweet Caroline. They were hard-working farmers. Louise was a stay-at-home mom. Caroline tells delightful inside stories about life on a farm and how she cherished every minute. From collecting eggs, to canning and quilting. To the hilarious account of when Elwood decided she was old enough to catch and pluck her first chicken. “It was a fun adventure every day!” Caroline said. “Mom was a quiet soul who laughed a lot and dad was talkative and kind.”

Caroline had to get used to eating three meals a day. It took her a while to learn not to instinctively duck when a hand was raised and to realize she would not get punished if she didn’t eat her food in the right order.

Caroline was taught about God’s love for her through example. Louise cherished Sweet Caroline and patiently gave her the unconditional love every little girl deserves. Elwood’s eyes smiled every time he looked at her, and his strong, work-worn hands were only gentle and protective. She learned what happened “to” her was not her fault and in some miraculous way, God healed her of her pain and past and gave her a new life.

They were not rich, but she was blessed with new clothes every birthday and toys and jeans for Christmas. “I don’t remember ever having a Christmas with my biological family,” Caroline lamented.

Caroline’s favorite Christmas memory

Caroline cries happy tears when she shares her favorite Christmas memory with anyone who will listen. This memory happened when she was 10 years old while celebrating her first Christmas with Elwood and Louise.

“There were five presents under the tree,” Caroline remembered. “So, five days before Christmas I asked, ‘may I please open one gift, please, just one?’” They let her. “The next night I asked again, can I please open one gift?” They let her. The next night she asked again, and then again. They let her open one gift every night until there was one gift for her under the tree on Christmas Eve. “I asked again. May I please open a gift?” They let her. “When I woke up the next morning on Christmas Day, I looked for a gift and there was no gift there. Pa and Ma said, ‘that will teach ya!’ I was like…down and sad for just a second… then a wonderful thought crossed my mind!”

She told Ma and Pa to stand back-to-back, and she ran and got a big ribbon and two bows. She wrapped the ribbon around them and put a bow on the top of their heads.

She said, “God saved the best gifts for last!” Caroline told them in tears. “You are my Christmas present from Him! I get to unwrap YOU!”

Before unwrapping them, she took a picture. They all laughed and cried and hugged each other as she unwrapped them. Her “best gifts” from God.

“I remember feeling sad and I apologized to Ma and Pa that I did not get them anything,” Caroline said. They said, “Oh yes you did!” They put Sweet Caroline in a small box. She was half in and half out. They wrapped her in a ribbon and put a bow on her head. Ma and Pa said, again crying tears of thanksgiving and joy, “You are our precious gift from God! You are the answer to our prayers!” They took her picture, unwrapped her and gave her more hugs and kisses!

Merry Christmas!

“This memory is precious to me for many reasons,” Caroline said. “I will share it every year because it keeps me humble by remembering where I came from and where I am now. I know it is only because of God’s love! I give thanks to Him every day!”

Caroline encourages everyone at Christmas to dig into their memories and unwrap them like gifts. Unwrap the first time you met God. Unwrap the time you met your best friend or your spouse. Unwrap the birth of your child, when you adopted your dog, your job, or your dreams. Unwrap the unconditional love of God. Now… wrap up God’s love He gave you and give that love as a gift to someone else,” she encouraged. “Elwood and Louise were God’s hands and feet to me. Now we can be His hands and feet to a hurting world.”

“We should all celebrate!” Caroline said. “God gave us the best gift of all… Jesus Christ His Son! Jesus laid down His life so we can all be adopted into God’s family! We don’t have to wait for Him to come rescue us, He already has! All we have to do is receive His free gift.”

–Janet Dabbs