Lost in the middle of the Pro-life/Pro-choice debate sit millions of women and men impacted by their abortion experience. Abortion is arguably one of the most heated discussions in today’s culture. Both sides feeling they have extremely valid and moral arguments based on their perspective and belief system. This causes a divide that rarely yields compromise, understanding and unity. Abortion ends life, destroys potential and leaves a wake of pain no matter how you look at it, or whether you choose to acknowledge it.
However, the choice of abortion is often much more complex than the boiled down arguments from both sides. Pro-choice saying freedom and autonomy and pro-life saying selfish and evil. In the middle of this contentious and heated debate are real women and men. Real hearts and lives and real stories that if we lean in, could help grow our understanding, our compassion and our ability to reach our lost and hurting culture with the truth.
Since 1973 with the Roe v. Wade decision, a dark secret that was already a reality, was thrust into the light. Not only brought onto the mainstage, it suddenly switched the narrative from an act that was sad, shamful and something that was painful, to something that should be celebrated. However the emotions and the reality that had kept it in the dark for hundreds of years prior didn’t actually change.
The circumstances around an abortion decision are usually fraught with desperation, abandonment, abuse, pain and regret. Women and men find themselves in very difficult situations and after 1973 they were being sold a lie that there was a “simple, easy solution” to the predicament they were in. Nothing could have been further from the truth. After an abortion decision, people still find themselves in the broken life situations they were in, but now often plagued with regret and grief that no one prepared them for.
For the hundreds of women and men we have served in the last twenty years one consistent theme has permeated every story. They share, “I wish I would have known…I wish I would have known the physical pain, the emotional pain, the grief that would wrap around my heart, the regret I would feel every day, the ways I would be triggered for the rest of my life.”
If more people knew the stories of those who have experienced abortion, we could start combating the pro-choice narrative from a personal experience and personal truth viewpoint. Essentially using their own tactics against them. The struggle in this is that the majority of women and men are still overwhelmed with shame and do not want anyone to know about their abortions…fearful of judgement and ridicule from all sides.
Those who have healed and would be willing to share, now deal with hostile cancel culture where you’re entire life can be attacked in multiple areas for challenging the pro-choice narrative. So, the best weapon we have, stories, are silenced. It is time for an army to rise up. An army of women and men willing to share their experience of pain and how their lives have been impacted. We also need people to share their stories of healing and their experience with God’s grace. Only then can we bring to light those caught in the middle, those God can use to bring truth and compassion to such a hostile fight.
If you’ve been impacted by an abortion decision, we want to hear from you. Please reach out to If Not For Grace Ministries: firstname.lastname@example.org or go to our website: infg.org.